Eight shows a week, two matinées

Checking In

March 23, 2009 · 2 Comments

You know it’s been a while when Firefox doesn’t remember your WordPress login anymore.

Perhaps that’s a timely reminder to start using this thing again, but I’m making no promises until I’m more sure I can keep them.  News from the land of Lola is that I’m now a fully licenced Tube Driver, though I’ve spent my time since passing out in pointless away days rather than actually driving.  Still, the job is secure and that’s the main thing.

Some theatre coming up in the next few weeks – Judi Dench in Madame de Sade (reviews unpromising) and Spring Awakening at the Novello, the fangirling over which has already set my teeth on edge.  Still, if it keeps original work coming into the theatre instead of constant tribute band shows, I’m all for it.

Anyway, it’s still alive, and if I put my mind to it I may write on here more than once a month. Maybe.

→ 2 CommentsCategories: Uncategorized

The Taming of the Shrew, or, Bitches Ain’t Shit

February 18, 2009 · 2 Comments

I’ve never seen a live production of this particular play before, and I’ll admit that my familiarity with it is largely through the camp and slick musical adaptation ‘Kiss Me Kate’ rather than the original text.  Sure, the title implies that women may not exactly be portrayed in the best light, but it’s almost enough to make an apathetic quasi-equalist like me be out there burning bras.

The real problem is that the play hasn’t stood the test of time, in that the ‘comedy’ is wildly unfunny and the inequality between the sexes veers from historically appropriate to psychologically damaging.  I was ambivalent at the interval but in shock by the final curtain. I waited with baited breath for Kate’s final monologue, tensing for the glorious sarcastic revenge that was no doubt to come as a response to Petruchio’s intolerable cruelty.  Instead, there was misty-eyed supplication, the speech of a downtrodden wife who had been beaten, starved and tortured into submission.  There was no dramatic relief as a result, but I can’t help feeling that these directorial and acting choices have merely exposed the play for what it is: a dark and disturbing tale of misogyny and viciousness, certainly not one that should be celebrated.

After all, Shakespeare can do the whole ’spiteful banter as foreplay’ thing so well – look at Much Ado About Nothing (my definitive Beatrice and Benedick being Harriet Walter and Nic Le Provost at the Haymarket a few years back).  Hell, it’s one of the most used romantic storylines even to this day: House and Cuddy, Mulder and Scully, the list goes on.  This just fails on a number of levels and instead of stooping to save the material, they lay it bare in all its distasteful glory.

Michelle Gomez does a fantastic job within the considerable limitations of the role.  It’s so un-modern, so contrary to the image of women that I’ve grown up with that I almost couldn’t believe what I was watching.  I could have done with her being a little less screechy at first, but girl’s got to show she’s off her rocker somehow.  It set up as such a delightful sparring match, but even though her physical comedy was impeccable, watching a man hit a woman (even while she gave something back) was the first arse-shifting uncomfortable moment.  I knew she could do bonkers, loud and pretty funny, but after the interval she came into her own as a dramatic force.

There’s no two ways about it, Petruchio (an entirely unsympathetic character I found) absolutely destroys Kate.  There’s no spark left, and watching her decline is as frustrating as it is unsettling.  It’s a portrayal of domestic abuse, in its own way, of how one human being can claim another through ‘love’ and leave them as nothing.  By the time we get to marital rape of a sorts, the  play within the play is over and the tinker is just another bum left there naked and shamed.  Gomez must have been drawing from somewhere pretty deep though, because for the terrible short bows she looked somewhere between collapse and floods of tears.  I can’t imagine how draining that must be on a nightly basis.  Still, it’s the nation’s second-favourite Shakespeare, so clearly we’re a nation of theatre-going wifebeaters.  Give me Julius Caesar any day.

Which brings me to my more general problem with the RSC and its countless ‘re-invention’ of the same plays over and over again.  Once in a generation perhaps there is a new definitive production of Hamlet, or Othello, but for the most part it’s simply good actors rehashing durable material with an ‘angle’ that makes it somehow edgy or relevant.  We’ve been through the permutations: set it in Nazi Germany, a nightclub, its original era, or as in the case of last night’s show – a 2008 stag do and 16th century Padua.  It’s interesting for a few moments but ultimately the words are the same and the characters have the same limitations, so we’re essentially paying £50 to watch someone reinvent the wheel.  Not that I’ve paid full-price for a theatre ticket in years, but plenty of other people still have to. If I never have to watch another disguise/mistaken identity/fool the young maiden storyline again, it will be too soon quite frankly.  The rest of this play is merely a distraction from the main misogynistic event and I can’t really bring myself to review the camp prancing and falling-to-knees that constitutes RSC comedy routines.

I slipped out of the Novello stunned, updating Twitter as I fumbled to get my mind back on track for the journey home.  It was certainly harrowing, and Michelle Gomez is a tour de force who deserves a better vehicle for her considerable talent next time.  Should you wish to subject yourself to it, the play is on until 7th March at the Novello Theatre, Aldwych, London.  In the meantime, they should provide some sort of in-foyer counselling service, or at the very least a trauma helpline like after they deal with ‘issues’ in Eastenders.

→ 2 CommentsCategories: proper theatre reviews · the centre of the universe · understudies my arse

“I serve at the pleasure of the President”

January 21, 2009 · 1 Comment

Barack Obama really is the President!  He’s won me over, albeit slowly.  I thought his inauguration speech brought some much needed pragmatism to the hope/change theme that’s served him so well.  Even a little bit of predecessor smackdown despite the enforced camaraderie of such an occasion (you know, where the word bipartisan suddenly becomes noun, verb and the Holy Grail itself).

I’ll admit that my biggest jealousy towards the man is his newly tricked out Blackberry.  If they can put nuclear launch codes on his start menu, or whatever, why can’t my Blackberry Storm handle simple tasks like allowing me to answer a freakin’ call?  It hasn’t tried my patience too severely as yet, but if the next software upgrade doesn’t fix the remaining kinks, I’m going to be shoving it somewhere unpleasant in Vodafone’s immediate vicinity.  Probably best I don’t start ranting about their Macphobia, because dammit, I was ready to betray Blackberries for a swanky little iPhone.  I would have done it too, were it not for 02’s utterly pathetic excuse for coverage in this particular pocket of North London.

In other news, I’m gritting my teeth and booking a glut of driving lessons.  The most annoying part of this drawn-out process is that I can drive perfectly well if I just have to think for myself.  It’s when I’m awaiting instructions for the route that my control freak brain gets sluggish.  I’m well aware that I have to grin and bear it because it’s the only way to get through the test, but believe me when I tell you that it’s actually easier to pootle around in a gigantic train than it is in a Mini.  Fewer idiots in your way at least.  Still, the test is provisionally booked for mid-February, let’s see how it goes.

→ 1 CommentCategories: across the pond · the centre of the universe · the personal is..

“every two years you take up knitting…for a week”

January 18, 2009 · 3 Comments

Ladies, gentlemen and otherwise… I have returned.

Well, mostly I got a virtual prodding in the ribcage from my beloved bezzer and here I am jumping into the tepid waters of blogging again. I could give a multitude of very plausible reasons, but it’s been largely down to a combination of laziness and being too overwhelmed to think of much to say. I’ve started a new job, a promotion of sorts, but I’m reluctant to discuss it too publicly since it would be very easy to identify me, what with only a handful of people being in my current training programme. Suffice to say, it’s exhausting and I love it. Now I’m no longer spending the day wrestling with technical diagrams I feel a little better prepared to talk of more interesting things.

Anyway, a little meme to ease me back into the way of things: six random facts about me.

  1. I have drafted, in my head but never on paper, my acceptance speech for an Olivier, a Tony, an Oscar and an Emmy (each with subtle differences).  Pretty forward-thinking for someone who can’t even complete a first draft these days.
  2. In about six weeks, I’ll have a licence to drive a train.  If I behave myself in driving lessons, I may also have a car licence by then too.
  3. My accent is the vocal equivalent of Play-doh.  My first job was working for a utility company, sending out engineers all over the East Coast of Scotland.  Everyone could tell which area I’d been working on any particular day, because I’d come home with an Edinburgh or Dundee accent.  When I went to uni, I developed an unfortunate Kelvinside inflection which my parents mocked me for relentlessly.  Now I’ve been in London for almost eight years, my default accent is a vaguely South-Eastern one, albeit with an occasional Australian(?) twinge.
  4. I speak pretty good Spanish, and would love to live in Spain or South America for a couple of years to get properly fluent.
  5. I honestly think that ketchup is one of the five major food groups, and I don’t care how common it is to put it on absolutely everything.
  6. I am currently singing along to Barry Manilow in my pyjamas after an invigorating walk around the park (don’t worry, I wasn’t in PJs when I did that…)

I’m also making another stab at 365days/Project 365…here.

→ 3 CommentsCategories: Uncategorized

Olbermann: Gay marriage is a question of love

November 11, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Daily blogging went out the window when I started having to go to bed at pathetic o’clock. Still, this Keith Olbermann piece is well worth a look.

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“she’s not really my type, but I think you two are forever”

November 6, 2008 · 3 Comments

I’ve been linking to it everywhere else in my online life, so WordPress can be no exception.  My missus got a blog selected for the Guardian website.  Isn’t she awesome?

→ 3 CommentsCategories: the personal is..

“a change would do you good”

November 5, 2008 · 3 Comments

So, Obama did it.  I’m not providing a link, just click on anything that’s on the internet and you should stumble across it.  I like him a lot more recently, and I thought his acceptance speech was fantastic.  John McCain’s concession was befitting the man we knew before this messy election, before he was ground up in the cogs of the Republican machine.

I was wondering if his nomination had been a half-hearted gesture on the part of the Republicans.  He’s never been ‘their’ guy, incapable of motivating the base until the already-missed Caribou Barbie joined the ticket.  Is it possible that the strategists knew they had no chance of winning against the superstar Democratic choices, and after the disaster of Bush Jr?  So they let an old dude win through, with none of their own big hitters ready or eligible to run, so that if he lost it was no biggie?  Not like he’ll be able to run again in four years, and they haven’t had to change the party significantly (though it seems some shifting will be necessary if they’re to get back in power?)  I hope and pray that Sarah Palin does at least consider running in 2012 because 1) Tina Fey and 2) while the prospect of her with actual power terrifies me, I just find her hysterical and oddly compelling.

It’s over at last.  It was lovely coming home on the Tube, seeing so many wildly different faces poring over their free papers and smiling or nodding at the huge OBAMA WINS spreads.  The world definitely feels like a slightly better place today, even if it looks like California just screwed itself on gay marriage.

→ 3 CommentsCategories: 2008 · across the pond

“pour me up another”

November 4, 2008 · 9 Comments

Something that’s been bugging me:

Bad recycler, bad!

Bad recycler, bad!

Drinkaware’s new campaign.  First up, if you’re bothering to recycle, you’re a pretty functional alcoholic.  Also, do we really want to demonise people for recycling?  Isn’t it hard enough to get people to do the right thing here?  Even I have occasionally chucked paper in the regular bin because I can’t be arsed going out into the garden on a miserable day.

→ 9 CommentsCategories: Uncategorized

“but be careful getting coffee, I think these people wanna shoot us”

November 3, 2008 · 5 Comments

I should have known it was too good to be true.  No more lesbianism on Grey’s Anatomy.  (Spoilers for anyone not up to date with the fifth season).

Not that they’ve handled it as well as they could have from the start.  It took a particularly weird turn with all the ‘need to seek out girl-sexing advice from a guy’.  I mean, surely the golden rule of lesbianism is ‘do unto your girlfriend as you’d like done to you’, then see how successful it is and talk about what you want.

It was a huge development though, we’re talking about one of the most watched (if not any longer one of the best) shows on television.  It’s turned into part of a disturbing trend though, look at House’s ‘13′, a bisexual character who steps up the sleeping with women thing as a sign of spiralling out of control.  Basically, her lady-lovin’ is portrayed as a vice akin to her penchant for illegal drugs.  Not exactly feeling the warm and fuzzy embrace of diversity and inclusion there.  Although it is on Fox, so I wasn’t exactly expecting good things.  I’ve always felt that Ellen got cancelled post-coming out partly because the episodes did drop in quality, or at least I rationalised it that way.  It’s hardly the first time that a show with a prominent lesbian character got booted.

I can’t believe we’re really still at this stage – that lesbian “relationships” (complete with those air quotes) are perfectly useful to shock or to titillate, but woe betide any show that tries to show it as a sustainable and valid lifestyle choice.  I think the only character who had a prolonged lesbian storyline would be Dr Weaver on ER, or Lt Griggs on The Wire (I’ll be doing a guest blog for Jay about the women of The Wire, with particular reference to the realistic lesbianism sometime soon!).  Please, tell me if you can think of any others.

As for British TV?  Well, I can’t say I watch much these days, and it’s mostly just panel shows like Mock The Week.  The only drama I watch consistently is Spooks, and though I dozed off during it last night, I’m fairly sure they haven’t turned the delicious Ros Myers into a dyke just yet.  I didn’t see any lesbians in the fifteen minutes of Corrie that I caught last night, though I had heard rumours of it happening in Eastenders?

It never used to matter to me, I’ve always felt secure in my own identity as a gay woman.  (The obvious exception being my bizarre love for Fernando Torres, of course.)  What worries me is the lack of role models for more impressionable girls, ones whose only impressions of being gay are being shaped by the occasional risqué snog on something like Hollyoaks.  Surely, even with the religious right in the US, or the unable-to-take-a-joke brigade at the Daily Mail, we can still manage one realistic depiction on TV.

After all, this is my lifestyle, and that of so many people close to me.  I’m not pushing some radical agenda to get the heteros off the television, it would just be nice if someone a little like me was represented there too.

→ 5 CommentsCategories: Uncategorized

“where once we watched King Kenny play (and could he play!)”

November 2, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Oh, crap.

Well, we had to lose some time, and taking the pressure of being undefeated away might actually help the team not to lose the head altogether.  The minute I saw Redknapp had been appointed, I knew the ‘bounce’ factor would kick Liverpool in the arse.

So what about this title race then?  Like so many Reds, I’m scared to even think about it properly for fear of jinxing everything.  Our squad is as strong as it’s been in five years, and yet we’re playing some of our worst football.  Then you look at the Chelsea game where we made one of the best teams in the world right now look average and stunted.

Of course, if you turn on a TV or pick up a paper today the grumblings about how our season is pretty much over have no doubt started in earnest.  I’ll be honest, I look at the squads and worry we don’t measure up sometimes, but give us a bloody chance.  I mean, it’s not like Chelsea and Man U haven’t already dropped points unexpectedly.  As for Arsenal, they’ve lost to Hull, Fulham and now Stoke – we’re surely still in with a better shout than them?

It feels like we *have* to win it this year, we can’t rely on Chavski to stop Man U equalling our record, and while Man U have nyaffs like slimy Ronaldo in their team it’s even less palatable. It would be particularly satisfying to knock Fergie off HIS fucking perch for a change.

Not to mention that April is the 20th anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster, and while we don’t deserve anything for sentiment, the timing would be appropriately bittersweet.  I can’t be arsed with anyone (including my beloved Boris) who throw out claims about wallowing in victimhood.  I may not be a Scouser by birth, but it is a big part of my heritage.  I didn’t lose anyone I loved that day, but only thanks to a trick of fate and their tickets being in another stand.  If it had happened to any other team, it would still be a horrible tragedy and I can’t stand supporters of other teams sneering at it.  So don’t mock me for still refusing to buy the Sun, or getting choked up every so often when You’ll Never Walk Alone is being belted out.

Why does it matter so much to me these days?  I don’t know really.  I’ve always supported Liverpool, even during the season I pretended to support Man U in order to wind my dad up (grievously would him would be more accurate). The past couple of seasons I’ve felt it step up a gear – I can’t bear to miss a game, I have rituals about rituals to keep the superstitious ju-ju working in our favour.  It’s an established fact that all the lesbianism in the world can’t stop me from being a little bit in love with Fernando Torres, no matter how much it makes my girlfriend pout.

Liverpool is a way of life, clichéd though that may sound.  For someone like me, far from my original home and with only loose connections to concepts like family, it’s actually really comforting that there are tens of thousands of people all over the place who understand the significance of a good ‘BOUNCE!’.  It’s a currency, a common language even with those I find it hard to communicate with.  Sometimes I think it’s all my dad and I have left as a bond between us, and for that alone it’s worth the heartbreak of last-minute winners and the stress of penalty shoot-outs.

They’re my team, and that’s all it comes down to in the end.  If we can pull it off this year, if we can win the Premier League, I don’t think I can tell you just how happy it would make me.  But for now, as is the Liverpool Way, I’ll go back to living and dying with every kick of every match, not daring to think beyond each final whistle.  After all, nobody ever won anything in the autumn.

→ Leave a CommentCategories: more important than life or death · the personal is..
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