“One for my baby (and one more for the road)”

I’m fairly sure that given my pro-BoJo sentiments of these past weeks, there’ll be more than one person waiting to jump on me about the latest Tory ‘family’ initiative.  Would that it were simple enough for me to be either outraged or in agreement, like the centrist I am, I fall somewhere in that grey area. 

Let’s start with the obvious: a) je suis lesbo and b) I do want a family some day.

Throw into the mix: I broadly disagree with IVF, especially making it available on the NHS. If we spent as much money curing disease as we did getting people pregnant (WHICH IS NOT A DIVINE RIGHT!) or even just redirected the money altogether, well….  Trot out the old chestnuts about kids waiting to be adopted etc. 

I am concerned about male role models for any potential children of mine, I am not the sort to demonise men just because I won’t do them.  I want any son or daughter to grow up with a balanced view of straight and gay, to treat men and women as equals.  I am conscious that my life at present is short on male friends that I consider myself close to.   I do think that the number of violent and unhappy children coming from broken families is a worry (but not an absolute rule, there are plenty of success stories from one-parent families).  Just as I wouldn’t choose to raise a child alone, I wouldn’t want them to be deprived of access to male influence, although I know any two parents can be good or bad regardless of the gender dynamic.

It’s important to note that the provision does not exclude lesbians and single women, merely places a condition, one that is fairly easy to meet.  Plenty of other medical procedures (some less optional, like transplants) have conditions placed on them, so why is this massively different?  Is it selfish to have a child when you have a limited support network – for example I would need to consider the distant location of my family, the busy lives of friends, and the financial burden of paying someone to take up the slack for me every now and then.  That wouldn’t be easier in a couple, even a straight one, but we’re not talking about ‘oops I’m pregnant scenarios’ – this is a rational choice and should be treated as one. 

Having waffled thus far, I’m no clearer as to my exact position, but I’m certainly not offended, nor do I feel this suggestion is that far out of line.




3 responses to ““One for my baby (and one more for the road)”

  1. Should couples really be barred from having kids if they can’t find a decent male role model? I do want any child of ours to grow up around positive male figures (otherwise all they’ll be exposed to is Franklin and Orlando, which will scar them for life), but that shouldn’t be the overriding factor which says yay or nay to a couple having a child. The fact is that same-sex parents can do just fine – I know you’re not arguing with that in theory, but in practice that’s exactly what it would imply. And how would that even be implemented, anyway? I think it’s unenforceable. Good post, though 😉

  2. yeah, they continue to annoy me, that lot 🙂

  3. Yet another insightful post 🙂

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